Towards the end of last year I realised just how much I put myself on the back burner. My days were spent working, dealing with the girls, helping out with various requests from others. And I’d get to the end of the day and have nothing left for me.
No time. No energy. I was empty.
My cup didn’t runneth over, it had runneth out.
It took something fairly extreme to wake me up to the fact.
I had had a weird achy arm for a while, and I had a prescription from the GP to get an MRI done and then some sessions with an osteopath to get it sorted.
But I didn’t have time. There was always someone or something more important.
So it went on my (neverending) To do list as something I would eventually get round to.
I mean, it wasn’t that bad after all. I could move my arm, just not every which way.
Then a couple of weeks before Christmas it really began to hurt. Long story short it went from a bit achy around my upper arm to absolute agony from my neck to my fingertips in 2 days.
I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t dress myself. I couldn’t put a bra on. I couldn’t do anything with my hair as I couldn’t lift my arm.
It was sheer agony. I would wake up at 2am after 1 hour’s sleep in so much pain I couldn’t catch my breath, and when I could I was crying.
Because of it I missed out on Léna’s birthday outing – swimming with dolphins in the wild – as I struggled to get in and out of the car, let alone on and off a boat. I was devastated. All because I hadn’t put myself first.
Which is ridiculous as it’s something I’ve been preaching here and on my previous blog for years. But we never want to take our own medicine, do we?
With strong medication, diagnosis via 2 MRI scans and osteopath appointments I am now back to where I was with my achy arm. I still need blood tests for more information and physio appointments in the hope of fixing my original problem.
But if I’d sorted myself out, back when I saw my doctor, I could have avoided so much pain.
It was a big wake up call to the way I live my life in general.
I’m a people pleaser and I’m sociable.
So if I’m asked to do something or to help with something my mouth says “yes” before my head computes whether it’s possible.
2018 is MY year.
There is so much I want to achieve on a personal and a professional level, that to do that I need to shake things up.
I’m calling it the year of no-yes. That is the year I say “no” to everyone else and “yes” to me and my little family.
I’m re-educating myself to banish my knee-jerk reaction of saying “yes” to everything. Well starting to at least.
And I’m concentrating on what MY year will look like. The one where I say “yes” to me.
I don’t agree with new year’s resolutions but I am a huge fan of goals, and that’s what I’ve been working on.
So here is 2018 laid out for me (I’m going to make myself publicly accountable by sharing it here):
- A Me Day once a week to do with as I choose (Me time is so vitally important but I often let it slip as something more important takes its place).
- Date Night with Ben once a week – whether at home or out – time to reconnect without screens or interruptions.
- Family Day once a month – just the four of us doing something together – again without screens, this can be a day of board games / outdoor games at home, or a visit somewhere.
- A lunch HOUR every day – not just a hastily eaten lunch and then back to work. I will take a full hour to switch off and read my book.
- Time spent outside every day – whether this is a morning jog or a late afternoon dog walk I need to get more fresh air, be less sedentary and use time spent outside to switch my brain off.
- I WILL run a whole 5km without stopping / walking (I have only ever done this once, in 2011) and I WILL do a 10km trail run / walk here in Mauritius – I’m looking at you, Mandy, Niki, Iman and Priscille, to join me for this!
- Get up to date with health checks – I have scheduled into my calendar monthly breast checks, so that I actually do it rather than saying I will but not getting round to it! In the next few months I will be arranging the appointments I need for things like smear tests, as well as dental and optical check-ups for the girls and me.
- I have realised I work best in the morning, so I will be getting up early every weekday to crack on with my work when I’m most productive, rather than battling with it in the afternoon when my brain has already started to slow down. It would appear I can get more done in a solid 4 hour stretch, with no break, than in 8 hours with occasional breaks.
- I will set aside time every day for my interests – this could be reading, learning or playing piano.
- I will be reducing my time on social media. Over the last few years I have done full on digital detoxes, as well as swearing off social media for weeks or months at a time. My aim this year is for balance – to use it as a tool for work, to share a bit of our life, but for it to be a very small part of my daily life.
- I have two big work projects for 2018
– a 6 week online course, Life Reboot Camp that will be available here very soon…. Watch this space if you’re ready to hit the reboot button on your life and to work through all the different areas: YOU, work/career, relationships, parenting and more.
– a book, 30 days and 30 ways to change your life, with 30 easy to read and to put into practice chapters, helping you to get your life (back) on track in a month
What have YOU decided 2018 will bring about for you lovely? Because it’s your choice, your decision, all of it is. Never forget that.
Wishing you the happiest of new years ever!
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