Do you feel sad at the thought of your relationship? Maybe you have no feelings towards your other half, or only negative ones? Do you struggle to envision a future with your partner? Do you spend your days asking yourself if your marriage is over?
You are far from alone in this lovely. I work with so many women who feel this way and half the time the relationship is dead and buried BUT half the time it can be resuscitated and fully revived. So before you start signing up to dating sites, read on and see if there is hope for your relationship…
Questions to ask yourself before ending your relationship
1) When was the last time you had some quality one-to-one time with your partner?
Often our relationship flags and fails because we’re so busy being transactional rather than loving. You know what I mean:
– Have you paid the electricity bill?
– Don’t forget to take the bins out!
– I couldn’t find a Peppa Pig tablecloth for Grace’s birthday party, shall we get a Dora one instead?
– Did you remember to buy your mum a birthday card?
Where’s the love, emotion and excitement in all that?!?
Yes, these are all important conversations to have to make sure things run smoothly, but the problem comes when these are the only conversations you’re having as a couple.
When did you last have a date night? When did you last talk about something non house / non family-related? When did you last have “date” talk?
“Date” talk is something I urge the women in my Life Reboot Camp and Self First programmes to rediscover. Do you remember “date” talk? Those conversations you had in the early days when you were dating. When you could talk until the early hours of the morning without feeling tired. When there was sooooooo much to talk about and discover.
Instead of talking about possible mergers at work, boilers that need replacing and potty-training children, remember your “date” talk. Instigate conversations about hopes and dreams. Talk about holidays and travel. Share your thoughts on the news and politics if that’s your bag.
It doesn’t matter what the conversation is, as long as it’s not about kids, chores and work!
And you want to be aiming for quality couple time at least once a week. That doesn’t have to be an evening out! It can just be a nice dinner at home with phones put away / switched off.
2) What’s going on with blame in your relationship?
Have you ever noticed how your other half is always in the wrong? Whereas you’re white as snow?? It’s really common to see your partner’s faults without ever looking in the mirror and recognising your own. But we’ve all got our own failings and none of us is perfect.
When was the last time you raised your hand and said “my bad” in your marriage and apologised for something? We are quick to criticise but slow to say sorry. Which is human nature and you can get by living like this for a while, but if your relationship is going downhill and you want to do something to save it, then this works a treat.
First of all observe the two of you as if you’re a couple on a TV programme, objectively what would you say about you and your behaviour in this relationship? Are you nice, reasonable, understanding, loving? Or are you a cow, nagging, aggressive, rude and generally nasty?
Next up say you’re sorry. It’s not as hard as it seems and it gets easier the more you do it.
You are likely to find that the more you are understanding, and the more you apologise for your faults, the more your husband says sorry for his downfalls too.
3) Are you trying to change your partner?
This is a massive lesson to learn in your marriage but also in every single relationship you’re in. So let this sink in:
You cannot change a person. You cannot control what they say or do. BUT you can change your reaction to the other person’s actions and words.
Read it again. Take it in. Write it down somewhere and remember it.
It is very easy to say and pretty hard to do. Especially when we are triggered, as we rise to the bait, we lose our temper, we get upset.
However if you remember this critical piece of information and apply it you will find life (in this relationship but also in all relationships) will be far more enjoyable.
Now you’ve had a read-through does it still feel like your relationship is over? Or does it just need some love and attention?
If you’re still not sure, or would like to dive deeper on this relationship and all relationships in your life, then do check out Life Reboot Camp.
This online programme and community has already proven life-changing for women from across 4 continents. Lifetime access can be paid in one go or across affordable monthly payments PLUS there is a 30 day money back guarantee if it’s not your thing.
If you’d rather jump on a call with me first to see if Life Reboot Camp is for you then just book yourself in here.
Whether you join LRC or not make sure you’re nurturing yourself and all the relationships in your life lovely.
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