When I was in my twenties I had a difficult break-up with a serious boyfriend and I lost loads of weight, yet even at my absolute skinniest, with my hip bones jutting out, I didn’t have a thigh gap.
Young girls growing up now are being bombarded with online challenges to have skinnier thighs, narrower waists and worse.
When I was a teen and young adult the term “thigh gap” didn’t even exist. And I’m so thankful for this.
Growing up I was a UK size 10-12 (US size 6-8 / European size 38-40) and without social media I had my own issues dealing with this – as do most girls growing up – because your shape and size changes, and it takes a while to adapt to that.
With the rise of posed, Photoshopped selfies it’s scary the images that young women are being exposed to today.
As an early 1990s teen it was hard enough dealing with body changes and self image without camera phones and social media. But now our girls have to be so sure of themselves to get through the battlefield of thigh gap challenges, A4 waist challenges and other such craziness!
So I want to stand up and say:
Stop the thigh gap shame!
A thigh gap is as much a part of certain women’s bodies as straight hair, a crooked nose, long legs or big feet. You’ve either got it or you haven’t.
We have our own make-up that means we can modify things to a certain extent, through diet and exercise, but beyond that only the extreme of surgery will make a difference.
I was created with big boobs, a big bum, “womanly” hips, and thighs that touch. Always. And I’ve discovered over the years that no amount of diet or fitness regime will reduce the boobs, bum or hips much. And nothing gives me a thigh gap.
I’m 42 now and I’m finally totally comfortable in my body and my skin. I understand that I can work with what I’ve got, to make it a bit better, but that’s it.
I’m never going to be Kate Moss. And that’s fine, as I don’t want to be.
Because you know what? Those thighs that spread and touch each other as I sit down? They make a great cushion for kids who want to have a cuddle. And that means the world to me 🙂
But I didn’t feel this way overnight.
It’s age and years of experience that got me here.
And for my girls growing up now, there is a minefield of skinny culture to fight through, of crazy online challenges, of phrases like “thigh gap” being bandied around, like it’s something everyone should have.
It makes me sick. And sad. And worried.
So I want to use my voice, my platform to tell women and girls, of all ages, the world over:
If you haven’t got a thigh gap then come and join my gang!
There is nothing wrong with it and you look FABULOUS.
To show you just how much a thigh gap doesn’t matter, here’s me sporting mine on the beach just a few days ago.
Love your non-existent thigh gap
Love every part of you – thighs that touch included. They are you and what makes you YOU.
In certain societies, in certain cultures, in certain periods of history the lack of a thigh gap is / was something positive. Think of Rubens’ paintings!!
The whole thigh gap thing is just our current society telling us how to look.
And I say “screw that!”
This is how I look. And I love it. It’s been a long journey to loving it, but this is me, and if I don’t love all those bits of me, how can I expect anyone else to love me?
Now go and look at yourself in the mirror, embrace the bits that society says aren’t “right”, and feel free to share your own thigh-touching bikini photos with the hashtag #whatthighgap
If you want any help with how you look or feel about yourself, body image, self-worth and more, then do check out my Life Reboot Camp, as we work on self-image issues in Module 1 (All about YOU).
Big love to you and your gorgeous self!
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