When you’re a mum “should” is a word that is all too frequently used. There is always so much you “should” be doing that you either spend your time doing what you “should” do, instead of what you want to do, or you go with your heart and feel bad about your list of “shoulds” not getting dealt with.
You should sign your child up for 10 different extracurricular activities and then play Mum Taxi every damn day taking them from one to another.
You should feed your kids organic only, and make sure they have 5 different vegetables on their plate every day. But try getting them to eat just one mouthful of any of them!
You should make sure your child is reading within one term of starting school. Even if it means you don’t ever have quality time together anymore.
You should exercise every day, make and drink green smoothies every morning and meditate in a park surrounded by flowers.
You should always look well put together as otherwise you’ve let yourself go.
You should be fully aware of what your tween and teen are getting up to online, even if you don’t understand what the hell Snapchat is.
You should be fully on the ball at work, never have dried Weetabix on your shirt, and never need to start late due to a school assembly.
You should offer to help out at the school Christmas fair, even though this means saying no to sleep with all the work it involves.
You should, you should, you should!
When did we forget the importance of play? Self-care? Fun? Downtime?
I’ve got some shoulds for you instead:
You should have fun every day.
You should laugh every day.
You should do something – just for you – every day.
You should have good time with your loved ones every day, and not spend every waking hour wrestling through chores.
This weekend I had a whole load of shoulds of my own to work through:
– an inbox that is not far off 300 emails that needs my attention
– doing reading and number practice with 5 year old Clémence
– looking at 11 year old Léna’s homeschooling work
– working out some kind of meal planning for this week, and doing the necessary grocery shopping to make it happen
– planning Hallowe’en and Divali costumes
– thinking about the girls’ upcoming birthday parties and presents
– prepping for Christmas and our big trip to the UK and France at the end of the year
And so on and so forth.
But instead I said screw that! Because life is short and I fully intend to live and love mine. So we filled the car (and I mean we literally filled it!) with sun loungers, spades, an inflatable boat and more, then drove to the beach.
We had the best day, even though we missed bits with the sun cream and are now all suffering with random stripes of red across random areas of skin!
On my deathbed I want to remember days like Sunday, not that Clémence learnt to read perfectly by age 6 or that my inbox had zero messages in it.
When my girls are all grown up I want them to remember rowing in an inflatable boat at the beach, digging for treasure, building sandcastles and playing with random children they only met that day.
That is life. Not a neverending list of shoulds. And we SHOULD remember that!
This is the kind of stuff I teach in my Life Reboot Camp (and sooooooooo much more!), and I’ve got something exciting to announce very, very soon about this life-changing programme, so if you don’t want to miss out then jump on my mailing list and / or join my free Facebook group – Happy Women Worldwide.
P.S. If you’ve been looking for me on social media I’ve taken that should out of my book right now. I’m just sharing on LinkedIn and in my Facebook groups, so if you want to see me online that’s where to find me. Again life is too short for social media shizzle 🙂
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